Act Like They’re Dead
It was 2019, and I was lying in my childhood bed, mourning over a fresh heartbreak from my first love. We’ve all been there. Everything felt so incredibly empty and ruined, as if the world was going to end. As I snotted into my bedsheets, my mom whispered four words that changed my life. With a look of understanding, she softly spoke:
“Act like he’s dead.”
I remember staring at her in disbelief. I couldn’t comprehend the words that just came out of her mouth. Still sitting on the edge of my bed with the aura of an all-knowing guardian angel, she followed up her last statement, saying, “They always come running back, trust me.”
About a year later, I received a text from my ex-boyfriend after not hearing from him in months, saying he would like to meet for coffee.
Recently, I asked my friends for some of the most influential things their mom has told them. My freshman-year roommate said that her mom would always reassure her and her sister of the humanity within everyone. She would say, “We are all doing life together for the first time.” This saying is a great reminder that we are all learning and that no one is perfect.
My current roommate told me that her mom has always told her to “look for the good in people instead of the bad.” Though people are flawed and imperfect, it’s so much better to seek good in people instead of being hypervigilant of their mistakes.
Another one of our blog writers talked about how her mom told her to find humor in everything. She would say that nothing is as serious as it seems and that a little laughter can often bring new perspectives to tedious issues.
Generally speaking, the cliche is correct: Mother knows best. In high school, girls tend to strain their relationships with their moms due to various arguments regarding curfew, grades, school, or even who they hang out with. In college, our relationships with our moms change drastically, whether we like it or not, as many of us no longer live under the same roof as them anymore. Instead of walking into the kitchen to have a quick debrief with Mom, it’s now a phone call from across the country. Recognizing this change and making the most of my time with my mom when I go back home has been so important to me.
Even if you don’t have a strong bond with your mom, it’s not too late. Many of my friends are still in the process of growing closer to their moms. Just don’t take your time with your mom for granted; she’s most likely been in every strenuous teenage crisis you’ve experienced. As I'm sitting in my college bed (that my mom helped me make when she moved me in), I realize that the woman I am today is a result of her words of wisdom and genuine ability to understand the atrocities of my teenage years.
Nearly every day, I think back to when my mom told me to “act like they're dead.” The trajectory of my life would likely have been entirely different if it weren't for my mom's wisdom. I am endlessly thankful for her.