Navigating Nostalgia

Nostalgia is one of the most complicated emotions in my life. Throughout every transition, I always look back on the past as if it could not have been better. Savoring the happy experiences of my childhood has become a comfort for me, whether it is through looking at old pictures, reminiscing memories with friends, or watching my former favorite TV shows. However, as I age and understand the world through a new lens, I often catch myself glossing over the negatives and remembering the world as I wanted it to be, and not as it was. After watching the new docuseries “Quiet on Set,” my happy memories of some of my favorite TV shows have now been tainted, leaving me feeling guilty about the rose-colored glasses I wear when looking back on my childhood.

As a kid, I used television to escape and watch characters that I loved grow up and struggle with the same things I did. Whether it was Sam from ICarly or Tori from Victorious, I wanted to envision that I was just like them. The struggle I have come to now is that I have realized that these characters were being put in inappropriate situations, with crude jokes and insinuations of explicit acts throughout every show that I watched. Even though I didn’t realize it as a kid, I was actively engaging with and mimicking these behaviors because I didn’t know any better. Now, that makes me feel gross about the nostalgia that I have taken comfort in for so long.

So, where do I go from here? I am left struggling between the idea I had of these shows that meant so much to me, and the reality that they weren’t what they seemed. 

While I am conflicted about how to feel, there is one fact that keeps coming to mind: two things can be true at once. Often, I think we take a binary approach to the impact that the world has on us. Something is either bad or good, and not in between. It takes analysis of a situation to understand that the impact we take away from it can be different than what happened. The atrocities that took place in these shows are real, and so are the nostalgic feelings I have towards the shows. As an adult, I know I could never watch those shows and not immediately understand the inappropriate jokes and scenarios, but I am grateful that I never understood that as a child. My innocence protected me from harmful narratives that I couldn’t comprehend at the time and left me with only the parts I look back at fondly today. 

As the world changes alongside us, we must adapt to new knowledge that can taint our past views. Learning to accept our imperfect past lives is an essential part of growth and one that takes practice. 

With that said, I encourage everyone to accept new perspectives on our past and use them as a chance to grow, even if it is uncomfortable. Taking off the rose-colored glasses every once and awhile won’t change the happy memories nostalgia can bring, it’ll just mean viewing them through a new lens. 

Sources:
Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV