Consistency of Female Friendships
As a 20-year-old woman, I have experienced tons of different types of love and friendship, though there’s nothing quite like female friendship. Female friendships in my life have been profoundly transformative, shaping and enriching me beyond words.
I will never forget when my dad taught me the phrase “quality over quantity.” This phrase deeply resonated with me, especially as I reflected on my friendships.
Like most girls, I have dealt with mean girls. In middle school, I was so busy trying to fit in with cliques and manage drama within friend groups that I ended up changing everything about myself in an attempt to fit in and appease people. It took time, hard talks, and lots of tears to finally realize the people I was surrounding myself with were not my true friends. If they had been, I wouldn't have changed everything about myself to fit in, and I would have been able to be myself.
By the time I reached high school, I was ready for a fresh start and making new, true friends. Throughout my life, I attended public, co-ed schools until transitioning to an all-girls Catholic high school. The thought of not having a traditional high school experience, wearing uniforms every day and transitioning into a brand new environment scared me. I assumed this transition from public to private and co-ed to all-girls would be a bigger deal, although as time passed I became used to it, and quickly grew to love it.
Though an all-girls school isn’t for everyone, it was perfect for me. It didn’t happen right away, but I met my forever friends in high school. Not only did I forge lasting friendships, but I also strengthened my bonds and deepened connections with the women and girls both within my school and beyond. Moreover, throughout high school, I was constantly inspired and motivated by the young women around me. With an all-girls environment, we were able to have open, transparent conversations inside and outside of the classroom, which ultimately influenced me to become who I am today.
When asking my friends and fellow Align bloggers to use adjectives to describe female friendship, one adjective in particular stood out: genuine. It encapsulates the essence of experiencing true female friendship, or any friendship – genuine, authentic connection, at its core.
I am lucky to have found true female friendships both in high school and college. This is due in part to my previous experiences with friendship. Although the experiences were emotionally taxing and intense in the moment, it ultimately made me recognize my needs and desires within friendships.
Through the turbulence of growing up and finding yourself, female friendships remain constant. Perhaps not always with the same people, but with the inclusion of a true, uplifting, and empathetic sisterhood. Having such a bond is special. Above all else, female friendship serves as a beacon of strength, love, and solidarity. I would not be the woman I am today without the experiences I’ve shared with female friendships — the highs, the lows, and everything in between.