The Olive Theory: What Determines Compatibility?
How I Met Your Mother– a sitcom intertwined with the heartfelt and aching story of romance from the perspective of Ted Mosby, a man with an immense desire for love, in his painstaking search for “The One.” Some may call Professor Mosby foolish, while others may call him a “love guru,” as he maneuvers relationship after relationship in New York City. In a city that big, he’s destined to find love, right?
One of his most memorable concepts of love– the ultimate test to compatibility– was known as “The Olive Theory.” Ted’s definitive and obviously well-researched theory explains that every well-matched couple has either one person who loves olives and another who despises them. If the pair likes or dislikes olives equally...Well, it’s doomed to fail. It’s an easy explanation to love, and in this case, it’s exasperated by polarizing a fruit. However The Olive Theory may be viewed, it remains as a rudimentary way of showing balance within romance— a classic give-or-take, although what you're giving or taking is as little as an olive.
The validity of this argument is discredited as two of Ted’s friends, Marshall and Lily, whom the theory was based on, reveal that they actually both like olives. The lie went on for years, as Marshall continued to give the olives he “hated” to Lily. In an unbelievable turn of events, The Olive Theory is disproved, negated, and exposed as faulty. With this said, is the theory only a way to convince yourself of a potential match? That you and your crush are destined to be together because they like olives and you don’t. It’s almost like taking a BuzzFeed compatibility test or triple-checking if your zodiac signs would get along. I mean, 1 + 1 = 2, right? But is it simply a confirmation bias in compatibility, prescribed by one’s own superstitions that The Olive Theory must be true? Or is it a complete sham?
So for those of you who believe The Olive Theory is a hoax, how do we measure compatibility?
The theory has to hold some sort of validity, supporting an equal and balanced relationship. We see Marshall giving up something he loves to share it with the woman he loves. It’s not so much that The Olive Theory is perfect, but it’s about the willingness of those in a relationship to give up their olives off of every plate— at every dinner or lunch, and out of a martini glass for their significant other. No, it’s not a life-changing, nor grand action, but it’s a quiet, everyday act of love that strengthened their bond. In many ways, the theory is an oversimplification of relationships—that the biggest struggle in a relationship could be the dislike of a certain food. So then why not call it “The Almond Theory” or “The Cream Cheese Theory?” Well, because it’s not specifically about a love or hatred towards almonds or cream cheese, but how a pair balances the two.
But then again, our “love guru” gives us some wise words, exclaiming the absurdity of love.
“[it] doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into it or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But you have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.” - Ted Mosby
So whether The Olive Theory is true in your relationship, it’s not that it’s the foundational core, but simply an adjunct and a fact: that one person likes olives, and one doesn’t. Instead, just ask yourself: Are you willing to give up the olives you love for your love? Because that’s truly what makes one compatible.