I’m all grown up… now, what can I wear?
I have always been creative, and I have always loved art. My imagination has taken me through endless adventures and countless daydreams. But one creative and imaginative outlet sets all the others apart for me, and that’s fashion.
When I was younger, I remember being obsessed with pink and wanting to be covered in head-to-toe pink outfits. I remember how cool it was to have pieces from Justice. Even at a young age, I loved the rush of my peers thinking my outfit was cute. But inevitably, I always felt expressively held back. Whether it was being told I should cover up more or that I’m too young to wear that, I was so frustrated that I wasn’t allowed to feel all grown up when I was younger. But, that’s the thing about being little; you can’t wait not to be. And although I had a fabulous childhood where I did get all the pink garments a girl could ever dream of, I felt restricted by the time I was fully conscious of what fashion truly meant to me. Growing up in a town where everybody seems to know you or your family can be indirectly (and maybe even unintentionally) judgmental; you don’t take fashion risks. It’s nothing to be regretful or ashamed of. But, it is something you can change once you go to college.
I’m the kind of person that has been curating my Pinterest since I was 17. At the ripe age of 20, I learned during my sophomore year that I was subconsciously restricting myself. In the midst of Covid and somehow already halfway through college, I realized that I had not fully dressed like what I imagined myself to in college. I love looking girly but also having a spunky side to me. I love a range of patterns and textures and having a strong makeup look that match a bold shirt or pants. I wasn’t really sure why, but I realized that I wasted two years in college being scared to dress like myself.
Growing up and always being told to dress appropriately is a respectable choice for those who raised me but also permanently altered my way of getting dressed. We have all heard that confidence is key, but confidence can also equate to freedom. I am now in the second half of my junior year, and I now know that I do not want to waste another day trying to fit in just because my confidence and pent-up anxiety prevent me from being my most authentic self. I have curated maxi skirts, flowy tops, beautiful scarves, and absolutely adorable platform shoes, and I want the world to see them. I want the world (or Eugene, for now) to see me look good. But not for anybody else and not to anybody else standards – except my own.
Going from the instinctual mindset of being innocent to exploring a more adventurous side and fashion is also freeing. It’s important to remember that you can dress as boldly as you’d like to. You can wear a shirt that maybe feels more revealing than what you were previously allowed to wear. You can wear that really funky shirt that you love, but you worry about what other people think is weird. Being an adult can be fun. Being an adult means each day, you have an opportunity to slip away from the new and never-ending responsibilities that are stacking up and explore individual tastes and fashion. Letting go of shyness may not be easy, but it starts with wearing one thing that you consider risky at a time. You do this until you realize you can dress as creatively as you would like.
The shift from college to hometown life can be like night and day. But once you finally have escaped your hometown and you realize there’s no one physically holding you back, what can you wear? The answer is whatever you like. So step out of that box, one piece at a time. It all started with making intentional mindsets and choices.