The Desire to Know How We Are Perceived

Perception is everything. Everyday we observe, we watch, we perceive, we judge. We can decide whether to put on a mask or just be without one. Some people do not particularly care to know how they are perceived or maybe they act like they do not care by putting on a mask of confidence, while others spend a great deal of time thinking about how others perceive them. Do you ever catch yourself glimpsing at your reflection in large windows as you pass by them? Or repeatedly pulling up your phone camera to see what you look like? Or maybe even spacing out on the world around you and focusing on how you are displaying yourself. We try to gauge how we look when we are just “existing” so that we can see what others see.

There are so many ways to calculate and curate a specific persona we display to others. We do it everyday. You are a different version of yourself based on the group of people surrounding you and the environment in which you're in:friends, school, family, home coworkers, work, peers, strangers.We can alter our vibes to try and create a different perception for each group or individual we encounter. But we will never truly know how people see us. 

There are places where perception can be more tailored to how we want it to be. The internet is a place where we can meticulously craft our image. We decide what we put online and the style of the content. The internet is a place where you can be anyone or be anything. Although we ultimately decide what face we display on the internet, it doesn't stop others from perceiving us in a different way than we may have intended. We may not be doing it consciously but when posting on the internet we are usually doing it to solicit a reaction of sorts or generally for others to just see it.

We may never know how we are truly perceived but there are ways to get some answers. Recently, there has been a big surge of videos on TikTok that are focused on perception and the portrayal of overall vibes. They all ask some sort of question such as, “Ask your friend which fruit you are” or “Which kind of bird are you?” and then they create slides within that specific category to showcase different vibes that correlate with these different objects. This is a way to ask how your friends perceive you without flat out asking. Another way to get feedback is something that was popular during middle school. People would post on a social media platform saying “Slide up for TBH (To be honest).” This was something that allowed people to give their honest opinions which were sometimes brutal. 

This desire to know how we are perceived may be rooted from the fact that mainly women are pushed to be perfect, to look perfect, to sit there and look pretty. So after all this time we are yearning to know if we have completed this never-ending task. We follow trends, but not too closely. Act cool, but not better than others. We have to be different and unique but not too weird. Be confident but don’t try to stand out. All of these standards are constantly at play which makes women hyper aware of what persona they are displaying.

At the end of the day, while understanding how we're perceived can be intriguing, it's important to remember that our true worth isn't solely defined by others' perceptions of us. Rather than seeking validation from outside sources, embracing our uniqueness and living authentically allows us to find genuine happiness within ourselves.