Do Boys Have More Fun?
No one takes advantage of the sun like college kids in Oregon. The second the temperature reaches 60, people flood outside to backyards, quads or nearby lakes and rivers. Studying, tanning, playing games – well, mostly girls are tanning, and mostly guys are playing games. Whether it’s Beer Die, hacky sack or volleyball, the ratio of people participating is almost always skewed towards boys.
In a group of five-year olds, you don’t see this same divide. Somewhere between kindergarten and college, girls stop playing outside; women are taught that playing games is for children, and that when you grow up, fun and validation come from beauty. Being outside turns into tanning and exercise becomes about looks. Even at the pool, girls often don’t want to go underwater and get our hair wet.
As a kid, I loved games, and I always had too much energy to burn off. I loved running around, swimming, jumping on the trampoline and playing on the playground. As I reached the end of elementary school, though, around eight or nine, it started to feel babyish. I wanted to fit in with the older girls I knew and running around like a little kid seemed embarrassing.
Even as early as 5th grade, free choice days in PE meant that the boys played soccer and the girls– even the girls that played soccer– walked around the track. The second we start trying to grow up, we stop playing. Girls that still want to play games are often labeled as tomboys, or as immature. They’re told they need to grow up, as if having energy and wanting to run around, especially in co-ed situations, becomes unacceptable as soon as you hit middle school.
Men don’t have the same stigma around play that women have. As boys grow up, they continue to be encouraged to play games. It’s built into their social life, the same way that shopping and getting ready are built into ours. There’s nothing wrong with beauty-related pastimes– I love getting ready with my friends, and I’m the biggest clothes hoarder I know– but I do wonder why, as we get older, is it so easy for all our hobbies to become about looks?
Having fun that doesn’t involve looks gives women agency, and it teaches girls that they are in control of their lives. Teaching young girls to feel embarrassed of having energy and that games are for babies, on the other hand, means raising women that tamp down their personalities, ambitions and strengths.
Girls are taught that the word “competitive” is an insult, but being competitive is human nature. By getting rid of healthy outlets for competition – like playing games – girls either suppress this trait or learn to express it through unhealthy, passive aggressive avenues. Learning how to control one’s sense of competition, and to win and lose well, is a critical life skill that we deprive women of if we stop encouraging play.
Games, in general, teach life skills. They teach physical skills like aim, speed and strength. They teach cooperation, effort and strategy. Men are encouraged practice these skills. Women are encouraged to devote their time to learning how to be pretty. Of course, many women still play sports, but after high school, the number of women in sports drops drastically, and women are less likely to play casually with friends than men are.
I often don’t play certain party games (beer pong, I’m lookin’ at you) because I’m not good at them, but I’m not good at them because I never play. This summer when it’s nice out, I want to play volleyball or other games when I’m bored of tanning. I want to go underwater without worrying about getting my hair wet. Girls playing outside shouldn’t stop in 5th grade, and fun doesn’t need to be sacrificed for adulthood. If boys are having more fun, it’s time to ask ourselves why.