Why You Should Date Yourself: A Guide to the “Solo Date”
“Solo dates” involve the deliberate act of taking yourself out and enjoying activities alone, such as visiting a coffee shop, having dinner, or catching a movie. Engaging in these experiences can significantly boost your self-worth and strengthen your confidence. You might argue that you're often alone while doing routine tasks like walking to class or going to the gym. However, these situations differ because you're alone out of necessity, not by choice. Intentionally setting aside time to be alone and indulge in activities you enjoy is a form of self-care that fosters a sense of value and self-appreciation. Far from being a chore, solo dates should be something you eagerly anticipate. They're not a rejection of intimacy or love but rather an empowering opportunity to prioritize your well-being and happiness.
I have found that I have the best thoughts when I'm by myself; it allows me to gauge how I’m doing, reset my thoughts, think about things that I've been pushing off due to distractions. It is so easy to get distracted and preoccupied with our busy lives that we often forget to spend time on ourselves. The term “solo dates” have been popularized by social media in the past couple of months, however the act of taking time for yourself is not a new one. Solo dates boost your confidence and allow you to reconnect with yourself. They provide a time to rest your mind and come back to your goals and aspirations in your busy life as you take the time to show yourself that you are worth spending time on. It is so important to be able to spend time alone with yourself and not rely fully on others. There's so much that can be done on our own that we don’t give ourselves credit for. Especially at the University level where peers constantly surround you. You may never feel that alone, giving yourself time to let your brain think.
A solo date isn't much different from a traditional one; it's an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Surprisingly, you may even meet new people along the way, discovering commonalities through shared activities.
Being alone, particularly in public settings, can evoke fear due to its inherent vulnerability. There's often a worry that being seen alone implies a lack of social connections or support. This fear can lead to a sense of being under scrutiny, with thoughts like "everyone is looking at me" dominating one's mindset. However, this perspective is precisely why spending more time alone can be beneficial. In reality, people are seldom focused on others who are alone, they're occupied with their own lives. I've never judged someone negatively for being alone in public or even given it a thought. Choosing to spend time alone doesn't reflect poorly on one's social life or social skills; rather, it demonstrates a commitment to self-care and prioritizing personal needs. So, whether it's enjoying a solo trip to a coffee shop, taking a leisurely walk, or immersing oneself in a good book at a restaurant, embracing solo activities can be empowering and fulfilling.
Solo dates come in various forms and sizes, but what truly matters is the act itself, not the specific activity. They can be as simple as pampering yourself with a face mask, lighting a candle, binge-watching Gilmore Girls, or venturing out to the movies alone. It's essential to start small if stepping out alone feels daunting. There's no pressure to dive straight into dining solo if it's outside your comfort zone. Moreover, you don't even need to leave your neighborhood; there are countless options nearby or in your own home. Begin by choosing something you've been wanting to do, however small it may seem. Then, mark it on your calendar and commit to it. By making it a concrete plan, you're less likely to back out. Treat it as you would a real date—honor the commitment. Aim to have at least one solo date per month, prioritizing your relationship with yourself.
10 “Solo Date” Ideas
Go out to breakfast: Whether you bring a book along or simply savor the moment, enjoying breakfast solo can be a great experience. In Eugene, there are several breakfast spots I would recommend for this, such as Studio One Cafe, Morning Glory Cafe, and Farmers Union Coffee Roasters. Each offers a unique ambiance and delicious food, perfect for some quality alone time.
Go on a long walk: My personal favorite! Pick up a coffee, put on a good podcast or your favorite playlist, and walk around your neighborhood or local park. Admire the houses, look at the greenery, and discover something new about your neighborhood. In Eugene, there are fantastic spots for walks, such as Hendrix Park and its surrounding neighborhood, or Alton Baker Park. Walking allows you to appreciate the beauty of your environment while enjoying some quality time alone with your thoughts or favorite entertainment. It's a simple yet refreshing way to rejuvenate and explore a new area.
Visit a museum or gallery: Take your time to stroll through a gallery, immersing yourself in the art or exhibits on display. Spend some time in silence taking as much or as little time as you want. For University of Oregon students, both the Museum of Natural and Cultural History and the Art Museum offer free admission!
Ceramics and Art classes: Learn a new skill! Sign up for a class at the craft center and explore a skill you've always wanted to try. With classes available for all levels of experience, from beginner to advanced, there's something for everyone.
Visit a local market: Farmers markets are a great way to enjoy some solo time. You can meet new people from the community and explore a variety of offerings. In Eugene, the Saturday market runs from April to October during warmer months, offering a plethora of goods such as flowers, produce, local art, clothing, and delicious food. Plus, you can enjoy some live music while you're there.
Cinema Date: Grab the popcorn and some of your favorite snacks and go out to a movie that's been on your list. Enjoy the movie without any distractions. No one will know you on your own!
Picnic in the park: Bring a blanket, some snacks, SPF, and a book, and spend some time outdoors. Soak up some sun and get a soft tan. I would recommend Hendrix Park, and Washburn Park both within walking distance of the University of Oregon’s campus.
Take a workout class: Exercise is an excellent solo date to reconnect with yourself. Trying out an exercise class offers a chance to explore something new while moving your body and potentially meeting like-minded people. UO CHAARG and the Group X program are great programs that offer a variety of different classes for those who want to try something new!
Book store: Spend a day at your local bookstore, spending some time reading the books in the aisles. Find a cozy chair, settle in, and read in the store. It's a relaxing way to enjoy some solo time.
Craft Night: Get some charms from the store and create your jewelry, or grab some paint for a fun paint night. You can also print out pictures and make a homemade collage. These activities are great for expressing your creativity and they're affordable and easy to do! There are endless options for simple and enjoyable activities to try out.