Secrets from a girl who’s lived it

Hindsight is 20/20, and we all have something we wish that the younger us knew. Maybe you wish you knew you couldn’t pull off bangs, or maybe you just wished you knew everything would eventually be okay. Whatever it may be, we all have some advice we could’ve used years ago, so why don’t we share what we’ve learned? By asking women of all ages and lifestyles for advice, I learned a few secrets to share from a girl who’s lived it.


Layle Kenyon is a successful business woman holds high-ranking positions at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. She is also a hot yoga enthusiast, cat lover, and my grandma. She’s originally from Canada, moving to the States with her husband later. When asked what advice she had to give, she said, “You are in charge of your own happiness, don’t relinquish that to anyone else. If you want a friend, be a friend. Listen more and interrupt less, still working on this one. Take pleasure in the little things”

Erin Pfeiffer is a seasoned elementary teacher who has held many jobs. After switching from a management information systems degree to early childhood development, she worked in social work positions, data entry, and as a Nike employee. She worked through college to pay for her degree at the University of Idaho and support herself financially. She is also my mom. When I asked what secrets she wish she knew, she said, “Do whatever you can to get your degree right now. Travel. Use the buddy system. Practice safe sex. Support your girlfriends. Women need to advocate for one another. Try new things!!! Get out of your comfort zone. Network and ask for help from your professors. Enjoy every minute of college, it is the best time of your life. Don't forget to call your mom.”

Lexi Curson was my babysitter growing up. Currently, she is traveling, doing seasonal work, and casually climbing mountains. Her advice is, “Listen to a lot of perspectives. There is no threat in knowledge even if you disagree.”

More women and girls I talked to had advice and secrets to share. Each piece of wisdom is as thoughtful as the last ranging from “Anxiety warps your sense of reality. People care about you a lot more than you think” and “You will make mistakes that are unrecoverable but in time no one remembers or cares.” There is so much wisdom to be found in each other if we listen to each other’s stories. 

To share a piece of advice from my story, I wish that the younger me knew that you can care about people and still want them nowhere near your life. I urge women to keep sharing their secrets and advice with each other so that we can all learn and grow from each other’s experiences. Ideally, it will prevent some heartbreak and maybe some bad haircuts too.


@gabrielle.kenyon

Photo via Pexels, Lucia De Gros

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